Tomorrow is our little girls’ birthday! It’s hard to believe that four years ago, we were waiting and praying for them, and wondering what they would look like and what kind of parents we would be. I’ll be honest, I don’t remember much at all about that first year and a half. People always told me that they grow up so fast, but after thinking about it, I realized that it was never brand-new moms or moms of toddlers who told me that.
Our little girls have an extra special story that I would like to share with you all in honor of their birthdays.
We found out we were expecting. Yay! Shocked! Scared! All of the above. (smile) We quickly started dreaming and planning and getting ready for all the immediate changes that parenthood would bring. (or so we thought!) They did our ultrasound at 17 weeks, and revealed that, SUPRISE!, we were having twins!! Our whole family was ecstatic! Our incredible joy was short-lived however, when they referred us to a specialist who proceeded to run more tests and do additional ultrasounds. The doctor and technicians kept looking at each other and speaking in whispers and pointing to the images on the screen. My husband and I were brought into a room and told that there was a huge difference in the sizes of the babies. One didn’t have enough fluid, had water on the brain, not enough room for the heart, along with other issues involving blood flow through the umbilical cord. We were told that they had witnessed this same scenario many times, and the outcome was never good. Three options were presented to us that morning; abort one and hope that the other would survive, abort both and just start over, or fly to some large city and have my placenta divided by laser in hopes that the larger baby might make it. We just sat there, stunned, not knowing how in the world we could make that kind of decision right there on the spot. We did not have the finances to afford the extreme medical procedure, and we also knew that abortion wasn’t an option for us. We asked the doctor if we could just wait. She blinked a few times, then said, “Oh, ok. Sure, you can do that too.”
The days that followed were some of the most heart-wrenching and emotional that I have ever faced. To wonder if you will end up with one of your babies, or both, or none at all. And then, there was the possibility that if, by some miracle they both survived, would they be healthy? My husband and I cried out to the Lord like we never had before. We only told a few people of our situation, because we wanted to protect ourselves from as much negativity as possible. Jamie and I both decided what we were going to do: wait on God. We both felt that God had given us these little girls as a gift, and that He would take care of them and us, no matter what. We surrounded ourselves with friends and family who stood with us in believing for the lives of our daughters. We gave our girls names and started calling forth the mighty, awesome women of God that they would one day become.
We continued our doctor’s visits; weekly, twice a week, each time hearing the doctor say, with some amazement, that she was shocked to see that things had not gotten worse. We gave all the credit to our faithful God, and the team of men and women praying for us. The best visits were the ones where we were told that although they weren’t sure how, the fluid levels had actually increased in the sac that was lacking. And all of the problems that we were told one of the babies had, they just kept slowly disappearing.
The doctor had said that if we just could get to 27 or 28 weeks, she would be really happy. They admitted me to the hospital at 28 weeks, and we made it to 32! Our little girls were born at 8:34 and 8:35am, weighing 2.3lbs, and 3.5lbs. We spent 9 weeks at the hospital after they were born, and then brought home two perfectly healthy (although colicky) baby girls. Our little Eva and Ellie.
|The girls were over 1 month old here.|
Motherhood has been, without a doubt, the biggest challenge that I have ever faced. The before, during, after…it’s all been pretty intense. But, I am always reminded whenever I look at my girls, how faithful God had been to us, and what a special purpose He must have for our daughters. I am more grateful to my God than words could ever express, and I feel so humbled that He would choose us to be their parents.